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Matthew Q. Knipfer
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Suppose we have a lake. Let’s call it call it Lake Usa. You’re working on a biology project for class, and instead of doing some dumb styrofoam model, you decided to calculate the number of fish in Lake Usa.

However, your teacher assigned this project at the start of the semester, and instead of letting you off the hook with reporting that number once, she wants you to model the change over time. Does the number of fish in Lake Usa increase, decrease, or remain constant?

You do the obvious thing, get a big ol’ bucket, and trek on down…

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I remember being a kid in December and hearing about this weird custom called “New Years Resolutions”. It was a bit odd to me since it sounded like a second Christmas List, but no one was giving it to you for free. All of the resolutions adults mentioned were junk like losing weight — stuff that a child can’t comprehend the reasoning or significance of. I ignored it.

A handful of years later, motivated by prepubescent angst and an unhealthy obsession with girls, I decided it was the year for me to dive into these “resolutions”. I got to work…

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If you spent a second less reading up the news,

I think you’d find the path you want for fixing up this “you”.

No doubt you’ve spent a lot of cash on books and bunk, subscriptions past.

You might as well have saved your wage and wiped it in your ass.

These prophets that you find online just profit from your wasted time,

And every day you play along, you’re inching more behind.

You see these things, these crazy bits, on how to do it all.

But how the hell can that be true when this is what they’re called:

I’m happy you’re here.

After thinking long and hard about the next article I wanted to write, pouring over my running list of ideas, I stopped to think about what I was even doing. I’m a senior in college, I hate writing papers for class, I don’t have a job on or off campus, and I still love coming on here to flesh out some niche idea that’s been churning in the back of my head for months.

Last week I wrote an article explaining the nuance of impeachment hearings that has gotten 15,000 views, a few months back I wrote about the work…

This is not simply Vine 2

TikTok recently surpassed 1.5 billion downloads. In the world of social startup boom and crash, numbers like that mean nothing without perspective. Here’s an excerpt from a Business Insider article I suggest you check out for other stats as well:

It’s important to caveat that the downloads number doesn’t mean that TikTok is bigger than Instagram overall, although it’s probably close. Instagram had one billion monthly active users in 2018, suggesting the number is now higher. TikTok hit the same milestone in June 2019. So Instagram is probably ahead by a narrow margin.

The story of TikTok is typically told…

The process, where we are, and what it means

The news right now is overwhelming with massive revelations made daily, ranging from affirmations of bribery schemes via military aid withholding to even Devin Nunes, top Republican sitting on the House of Representatives’ Intelligence Committee, being implicated too. It’s just nuts.

But, rather than adding to the mess that frightens and confuses normal folks, I want to answer some simple questions because if you know the path of what’s going on, it’ll all make a lot more sense in the coming weeks.


Let’s get some quick vocab out of the way. …

Spoiler: nothing changed

Update: Since writing, I have read and listened to extensive legal analysis on the true difference between bribery and quid pro quo. My analysis here is not wrong, but it isn’t legally rigorous, so I encourage you to learn more yourselves. There are legal requirements spelled out in court cases such as the benefit accrued to the individual being bribed or soliciting one, but although I do not detail those here, thematically my article still stands. This is a great ELI5 explanation for discussing with friends or family; the inspiration for writing even was out of a discussion I had…

Damn, I love this word.

Photo by Chepe Nicoli on Unsplash


A reader brought to my attention that the term Kafkatrap was actually coined in 2010 and not the decades ago I had assume. Here is the link to that blog post.

Who’s Kafka

If you’ve never heard of Franz Kafka, that’s fine, but you should change that. He lived from the late 1800s to the early 1900s, and wow did he write some incredible stories.

I’m not a fan of fiction. I read every nonfiction book my library had to offer when I was in grade school (lots of drama when I ran out of books and cried), but Kafka’s work is…

from Apple website

These buds outshine even high-end over-ears


Since writing this article and living with the AirPods Pro, I have been disappointed to experience terrible sound quality degradation. The noise cancelling function becomes self destructive within the ear piece on windy days, to the point I have had to replace one bud from rattling. Once having a new left bud, I was able to tell the right sounded like a fishbowl and I had simply adapted to the degradation over time. I cannot anymore recommend the AirPods Pro because of the terrible quality over time.


I had to replace both buds again for the same durability problems. …

Photo by Marten Bjork on Unsplash

This summer, after a gritty year-long adventure of applications and rejections, I was able to secure an internship at a great firm, Garda Capital Partners. They’re a fixed income fund based in Minneapolis with offices around the globe and a driven, thoughtful team. However, instead of going on and on about the rosy side of their brilliance or the times when I did well, I want to talk about something else — I want to talk about the thorns.

More particularly, I want to talk about the ways I messed up so that if you are becoming or will be…

Matthew Q. Knipfer

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